Transcendence

Dear LORD,

Thank You for today. Thank You for Your friendships and company You have given me throughout today.

I was not directly productive at work today, and I regret that. But I was able to work on ancillary things that may be useful elsewhere and later, and I'm grateful for that.

And, at home, I was surly at my best, but I was able to start work on chores, contribute to making supper, and be with my family when all I wanted to do was to sleep. So, thank You for allowing me to transcend what I wanted to do, and instead did what was for the betterment of all, and in so doing, I was bettered, one-hundred fold.

And I got some socked-knocked-off writing done that I got to knock into shape.  Thank You for letting me write and express myself in this way.

Please watch over my family and Your children everywhere.

I ask this in the Name of Jesus, the Christ.

Amen.

To be better than I am...

Dear LORD,

So.

I'm angry and I'm frustrated.

But why?

It's because I desire to be a better person than I am, and I'm not there yet, and I'm not getting there as quickly as I want to get there.

'There' being right here.

LORD, please help me take my eyes off my own anger and frustration. Help me to see myself as You see me. Help me to be the person I am striving to be. Help me to know that I am that person already.

My anger and frustration is a good thing, LORD ... it indicates that I am striving to be more than what I am only just now. Reform my attitudes and perceptions. Take my eyes off myself, and help me to look through Your eyes, to see me as I am, then ...

Fix my eyes on You.

I love you, LORD.

Amen

Ardor from Hate

Dear LORD,

Tuesday, my first day at Freddie Mac, is done.

Thank You for it being over.

Thank You for being with me this first day, especially in the kindness of strangers, my new coworkers. Thank you for letting them be people who make the effort to extend themselves to help, to take time out of their day and their tasks to help me start, to set up my new work laptop and to schedule me getting my badge and all the little necessary things that aren't productive for them but so needed for me to find my feet.

It's a hard lesson to learn again: I must relearn to walk before I can hit the ground running... and I so want to run now.

LORD, I hate my new situation. I hate the cramped, public working conditions. I hate the heavy feel of anticipation and expectation and hurry from the team: why run only to plummet over a cliff? I hate the familiar faces from my old work-place, that they have new friends now and that they (think they) know me, adding to the burden of how I'm supposed to be here.

Stumbling blocks.

LORD, take these stones I reject and make them into an ediface pleasing to your sight.  Take my hates, my anger and fear and turn them into zeal for my Father's house to consume the 'me' in me and make me burn with ardor so that others may see me ablaze with Your Love and Spirit. Take my weaknesses and fill my emptiness with You and Your Strength, LORD, so that this new situation may be a blessing to me, to my family and to my society, these new coworkers, so I may be a blessing to them through You.

I ask all this in the Name of Jesus, the Christ.

Amen.