Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Yes, we are friends

So, I've joined a forum my wife has joined so I may see or participate in the activities she does. I was even flagged by the forum leader, as the forum seems to be addressing more feminine concerns, perhaps?

So, it appears I'm getting in touch with my feminine side.


But one of Diane's (real) friends asked: "Aren't you and your husband friends?"

You see, you become (virtual) friends on the forum with people that, I guess, you feel consonance with in the various topics addressed in the forum.

So, am I friends with my wife?


I am happy to report that, yes, I am indeed friends with my wife. That, yes, in our 14th year of marriage, "we are still friend." I'll go a step further to add that in our 400th year of marriage, I am looking forward to that same friendship, even a deeper one than what we have now.

Yes, my wife and I are friends.

So, must there be membership then? Must we sign up as 'friends' on a forum to declare our real, deep, abiding friendship?

I guess, for others, this is the case.

So, for me to be smart, I must be in Mensa.

So, for me to be tolerant, I must be in the ACLU (one of the most intolerant and litigious organizations in the world).

So, for me to be free, I must be an American.

So, for me to be enlightened, I must be a Zen Buddhist.

Because life is very much an enrollment and membership thing.

Or is it?

Are my wife and myself, well, are we friends?

Well, how do we behave toward each other? Do we talk? Do we listen? Do we hug? Do we comfort? Do we strive? Do we try? Do we fail? Do we forgive?

Do you know?

Do I need you to know?

No, I don't need you to know.

But do you see something about us that's ... different? Weird, even? Isn't there an affection there, a childish affection that is 'only' seen in newlyweds?

Isn't there a calm, peaceful assurance each has in each other that you 'only' see in couples that have been together past their golden anniversary?

Why is that?

Well, obviously, because I've married a saint in training (just waiting on her death, a couple of miracles, and the universal acclaim of the Church in accord with the Trinity to make her a saint in fact), but I'm also trying, too. I'm trying to listen, and I'm trying to be.

Sometimes that works, sometimes that doesn't.

But I am grateful for one thing, declared or not.

Yes, we are friends.