Ave Maris Stella

Avl be þow, ster of se!
godis moder, blessed þow be
and euer maden haldand state,
of hewen þow are þe sely yate.
taket an þat ilke gretyn vncowþe
þat þe was sayd of Gabriel mowthe,
settand man in pes ful fane,
tornand þe name of heue a-gayne.
onely maden þorw gois gast,
of alle wemen meked mast,
vs of syn þow lees in aste,
and make vs boþe mylde and chaste.
Sew tyle vs þi moderhede;
þow help vs euer at alle ower nede,
þat he þorw þe owre prayer be-take,
wat was borne of þe for vrre sake.

or:

From a post on twitter by Joshua Jennings.

Marriage, a husband's view and duty to his wife and family

Okay, guys, you married your gal, you lucky so-and-so! So, battle won?

No, the battle has just begun. When she said, 'I do' to you, Satan put you both in his crosshairs.

Here's some things I do to fight the good fight.

A thread by @geophf

1. At the end of the day, when your wife says her prayers, does she thank God for you? Every hour of every day, you, fellas, have a choice: to make her thank God for you, or to make her pray to make it today because you made her life harder, sadder, more scared. Do the former.

Today, did you:

• Tell your wife you love her?
• Compliment her in things in which she excels?
• See her as beautiful and tell her why?
• Thank God for the things she does today to keep this family happy, alive, prospering, surviving?

This week, when you go to Church together, when you go to receive communion with her, do you stand with her, and whisper in your heart to God, "I do"?
Do you wonder if she would say "I do" to you this week? Fnd and do things to make her eager to say "I do" to nobody else but you

You have children? No? Pray about this. Don't delay. We couldn't have children for 5 years. Now: children. You have daughters?

Be the man to your daughters that is better than every single man in the whole world. Show them how a gentleman treats a lady in how you treat your wife

The inlaws/'out'laws. You didn't marry your wife: you married your wife's family. Be the son to your inlaws that makes them proud that you are part of the family. Love and respect your inlaws. Make them delighted when you come to visit and sad to see you leave

Every
Single
Time

Dress. When you go out, you dress better than your wife, always. Make her proud of the man attached to her arm: you. Put on your Eph 6 armor, which means, soldier, you stand up and talk with others, listen, share your views. Don't be a drag at the party, be a source of light.

Friends. Your wife is your best friend. Period. You don't have guy friends anymore, and you definitely don't have girl friends. You are for her. You hate to leave her, and are happy to come home. Your other friends are your friends. Your wife is your best friend.

The job. Get a job, start a company, maybe? Do what you do to provide for your family. Here's the rub: you are not your job. You do your job and you be the best person in that company. The absolute best. But why? Because your vocation is your family: you will haul trash for them.

Time. Make time for your wife. Let her talk and listen to her. Find out, again, what she's dealing with today. Find out, again, what her passion is. Get excited about her successes; be there for her failures. Your woman, guys, is saying something to you. Hang on her every word.

Find her language of love, and speak it. You like giving her flowers? Give her flowers. But if she cries when you do the dishes for her, maybe you want to do that, too.

Strike that. Speak her language of love. It's not yours. So what? You love her and you want her to be happy.

Share with her what you are doing. She can read your mind and she knows every single secret of yours. She needs you to say what's on your mind. Do not maroon her in the marriage, no: you are the captain of this ship, so you tell her everything so you sail together to your end.

Plan things as a family, every month. Go to NYC or Rome or build a city (on Rock and Roll). Involve the whole family in the planning, adapt to what excites them, then do it, together. They will look back at these times and say: we did this.

You take care of them, they love you. This is way out of your comfort zone.

You don't have a comfort zone anymore, you have something much more precious: a family.

Now, you: find a cause that's bigger than you, that scares you, and pursue it. Don't die until you're dead. Live.

Memorare to Our Lady of la Salette

Remember, our Lady of LaSalette, true Mother of Sorrows, the tears which thou didst shed for me on Calvary; be mindful also of the unceasing care which thou dost exercise to shield me from the justice of God; and consider whether thou canst now abandon thy child for whom thou hast done so much.  Inspired by this consoling thought, I come to cast myself at thy feet, in spite of my infidelity and ingratitude.  Reject not my prayer, O virgin of reconciliation, convert me, obtain for me the grace to love Jesus Christ above all things and to console thee too by living a holy life, in order that one day I may be able to see thee in heaven. Amen Our Lady of LaSalette, Reconciler of sinners, pray without ceasing for us who have recourse to thee.

'Self-Improvement'

I think self-improvement is a grave danger. Get spiritual counsel. Love is not self-improvement, love is other: ich und du.* Love is nothing without the beloved. So, I say, hey! don't worry about where you are on your spiritual journey, just do what you are here for, and follow the Christ. That's why the vocation is always other for men: to be the head of a household is self-sacrificial, entirely:+ there is no 'me' anymore in a family, no more 'me-time' or 'my space.' There is the family and what you have to do for it to provide for it and protect it, no matter where you are in your spiritual journey, God made you the husband and father, and you'd better step up to the plate and swing, no matter how good you are.

In that context, you do better yourself, to be better in the service of others. And that's really, for me, the only way I am better, is when I tell my wife I love her, or when my kids do well, and they are happy. Everything of me and mine pales in comparison to these things.

* in fact, the Filipinos have a special pronoun: 'kita,' I and Thou (two-as-one)
+ And don't even get me started on the priesthood: giving up everything to follow the Christ?

Mind Your Own Business

People 'care' too much about silly things they have no influence over, like the pope and Hollywood's opinion, and care too little about the Last Things, that they have a direct say in. Coworker: "Did you hear about the news about ... [Haiti, Norway, Trump, the Pope]?" Me: "1. No. 2. Ask me if I care."

People get all worked up over Today's news, sharing their opinions loudly on the bus, then the very next day, they're back at doing exactly what they were doing yesterday: going to hell, day by day. It annoys me, but St. Bonaventure/Jose Maria tells me I should thank God for these mortifications and try to better myself, first, before I sully myself in argument that does no material good except increase obstinacy on both sides.

My brother calls me out on this: "Why didn't you speak up on Charlottesville? You're influential on twitter, you know." My answer was: "Because it's stupid and the only thing I can contribute is to add to the noise." If I am silent when I should speak out, this is my sin, but I find I shout my lungs out (too often?) for the salvation of a soul not ready to hear my message nor to receive it in love.

What, then, shall we do?

How, then, shall we live?

Be still and silent, and let the Holy Spirit guide you. When I do that, miracles happen and hearts change. And it takes a tremendous amount of bravery to do that one little thing of "Hey, how are you? I love you. Wanna talk? I'm here." And then listen.