The ancient Greek word for 'a man' is 'ἥρως' ('hero').
And, ... men are heroic, stoic ones at that. (Although the ladies may argue that a man with a cold is nothing like a stoic hero). But we're also supposed to 'open up.' We're supposed to share our thoughts and feelings. Because that builds better relationships and happier families.
But does it? Where does this advice come from, because, it seems to me, that this is a modern invention, and not tested with ... well, not tested at all, by any measure, other than a 'well, that's what you're supposed to do.'
But are we?
I had a twinge today, over my heart.
So, the modern approach would be to share this with my family. But I know what would come from that: we would rush to the ER, the ER would rush me through tests, the doctor would review the tests and, like every other time (even when I had my heart attack), the doctor would see every single indicator in the nominal range, but, the doctor, being a doctor under modern liability constraints, would recommend I convalesce at the hospital under 24-hour observation.
A visit to the ER costs $2400 if I'm driven there (more if I'm escorted in an ambulance) (much more). An overnight stay at the hospital?
I don't even want to think about that cost.
So, instead of baring my heart and sharing my feelings, I went for a walk.
Yeah. Like a man, I decided to walk it off.
And that worked.
This time.
But what if it didn't?
Well, the first time I decided to run my heart attack off, that didn't work, and I almost died (twice) and was rushed to the ER, WHO FOUND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, until I ended up on the operating table with a stent.
Yay.
So, either way, walking it off worked. And, even when it didn't, I turned around, came back home, told my family, and we rushed to the hospital WHO SAID NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH ME because they're used to the modern man, who eats junk food, doesn't exercise, and dies in a very obvious way, not with a guy who exercises every day and whose body adjusts around bad genetics.
What does it profit my family that I share with them 'I have a twinge over my heart'?
The profit, actually, the cost, is that they worry unto death, all day, waiting, again, for a no-result from the hospital and a $2400 bill for the trouble.
Men, ... women, too: be a burden on your families, that's what God put you on this good, green Earth for, to help each other make your way through this day. You can't help, nor be a help, if you have to do everything all by yourself. If the world hinges on you, alone, then what, even, is every other person in your life for? Each person in your life is a gift from God. Thank God for these gifts by being there for them and allowing them to be there for you.
But don't be an unnecessary burden. Don't impose yourself onto people. Don't smother them, don't worry them, don't crush them out of the one-sided conversation you harangue them with. You are here for them which means if you have a plan or a problem, include them in helping to solve it, if you have a worry, share it, but only insofar as they can help you get over it.
Fine line?
Nope. You know when you're being a jerk.
Don't be a jerk to your family. Be their help, and be their hope.
