Saturday, December 29, 2007

Geography Lessons

Verbatim post from Diane's blog; entry May 13, 2007

The Princess stands on a chair next to the schoolroom's world map and declares, First we will go to Canada, then we go back home. Then we go straight to Mexico.

I ask, What will we do in Canada?

Visit all the people there.

How about Mexico?

We will give them money.

Then we'll go to e-ma-la, that little pink place.

(I looked at the map.) Oh, Guatemala.

Then we will go to sawf America.

South America.

After South America, we will go to Aus-tray-lia, right over here. After Australia, we will go to China. Then we will fly to A-si-a.

Are we done?

No, not yet. Next I want to go to Greenland, that's right over here, Mama.

She picks up a stick. There are two Russias! We'll go to this Russia, this one, (pointing with stick) the one with Asia.

... then my comment:

My dear lady,

Please remember that the Princess was born in the Old Dominion, Virginia-THE-Commonwealth, South of the Mason-Dixon Line. In this light, South (pron. Sawf) America is pronounced Sawf Uhmereka.

Remember, this is the Sawf -- a pan is not "oily", it's "gaizy". People older that you are addressed as "Sir" and "Ma'am", unless there's a group of them, then they are called "y'all". Tea is always served cold (unless it's 4 p.m., and that's when one dresses in one's finest and enjoys small cucumber sandwiches served on Royal Albert), and the afternoon is spent on the porch drinking a Mint Julip.

Remember, this is the Sawf, so save your Confederate money, for we will rise again!

Thank you, and y'all come back real soon now.

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