Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Ardor from Hate

Dear LORD,

Tuesday, my first day at Freddie Mac, is done.

Thank You for it being over.

Thank You for being with me this first day, especially in the kindness of strangers, my new coworkers. Thank you for letting them be people who make the effort to extend themselves to help, to take time out of their day and their tasks to help me start, to set up my new work laptop and to schedule me getting my badge and all the little necessary things that aren't productive for them but so needed for me to find my feet.

It's a hard lesson to learn again: I must relearn to walk before I can hit the ground running... and I so want to run now.

LORD, I hate my new situation. I hate the cramped, public working conditions. I hate the heavy feel of anticipation and expectation and hurry from the team: why run only to plummet over a cliff? I hate the familiar faces from my old work-place, that they have new friends now and that they (think they) know me, adding to the burden of how I'm supposed to be here.

Stumbling blocks.

LORD, take these stones I reject and make them into an ediface pleasing to your sight.  Take my hates, my anger and fear and turn them into zeal for my Father's house to consume the 'me' in me and make me burn with ardor so that others may see me ablaze with Your Love and Spirit. Take my weaknesses and fill my emptiness with You and Your Strength, LORD, so that this new situation may be a blessing to me, to my family and to my society, these new coworkers, so I may be a blessing to them through You.

I ask all this in the Name of Jesus, the Christ.


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