Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Rock Lobsta!

Okay, this isn't supposed to be happening like this. None of it. I'm not supposed to be writing two entries about DDR in a row (but I am), I'm supposed to be cooing over my cara spoza (she is) and my cute kids (they are), but here I am, wringing out more digital ink onto the virtual pages fluttering out into the νούςσφαίρα. About what? Yes, about DDR ... again.

Actually, I'm flying a bit high, perhaps as high as a kite (how come John Cusack has so thoroughly invaded the American psyche?), because of what happened in today's session shouldn't have turned out the way it did, either (but it did). It goes against reasonable expectations that I could achieve the results I did with the songs I selected today, so either my body was substituted with something extra-human, or I must acknowledge another incident of Divine intervention. A miracle, as it were, like a spiderweb. All right, let's get on this this, I know you cannot wait for the results, and they are:
  • Hit'n'Slap (Asletics): A → AA

    Harumph! This is DDR3 that I'm playing today. Must I improve my score on every DDR game I have for this song? I guess I must; I must!. Good thing that this song is so fun for me to dance.

  • Spirit of the Hawk (chuji): A → AA

    This started the "oh, that's nice" phase: "oh, that's nice" I improved my grade. I wasn't expecting that improvement today, but I assumed it would come some day. I thought I had yang-ed out my string of successes, and, as before, I thought it would be another year or two before I could improve on the ensuing plateau. Apparently, this song was precipitous; apparently, I have yet to plateau.

  • Imperial Carnival (kumiko): A → AA

    Slightly easier than Spirit of the Hawk, so I still lulled in Lullsville. But, then again, neither song was one that I could ace, even though I've had DDR for years. I should have seen this as the storm clouds on the horizon (but I didn't).

  • Cat in the Moon (901(Clay)): A → AA

    Okay, this was the clarion call. There is no way, NO WAY! that a mortal can ace this song ... years of practice and patience and observation and super-high-intense training (Hi, there, Dennis!) all failed before this sinuous, spontaneous, frenetic, chaotic song.

    Do you know how cats have extra-sensory perception? Do you know what it is, this extra sense? It's the impossible ability to be in the exact space you maneuver yourself to avoid tripping over the thing. Even, and especially, when the cat, the very split second before-hand, was going in the completely opposite direction, ya know, away from where you tended, but NO in a flash you find yourself stepping on the thing, jumping up in fright as it screeches, and you end into a very sharp edge of some furniture.

    Well, the cat's sense is the embodied by this song. All your mighty plans of completing this song with any dignity are humbled before its complete unpredictability. But there I was, fully concentrating on the song, and there were my feet, blurring out of visibility in their speed, and there was my dance pad, literally being torn to shreds in my effort. My God-brother, Mike, always gets a kick of how I need to return a dance pad every three months for defective manufacturing ... the defect: they didn't use enough adamantium. Best Buy's stock takes a quarterly dip due to the Auclair Rebate Program. This dance pad, because of this song, didn't quite have the longevity of the others.

    Like I said, it wasn't I, unless I am Iron Man.

  • Dança de Yuka (Big Idea): A → A

    Gosh, I love this song! When Big Idea misses with a song, it's "meh", but when they hit, look out. I didn't improve my score at all, but I only made one or two mistakes, and then it wasn't out of panic, as I have experience before. I was aware and in control throughout then entire song, ratcheting my effort in synch with the accelerating tempo.

  • Bag (RevenG): B → B (std)

    Okay, I'm human. I saw someone play this in the arcades and hit every single arrow with a calm self-assuredness. One day, I'm sure, I'll be able to do that, too. But for now, I'm simply happy to listen to the Moorish tones and rhythms, and hitting the occasional arrow correctly.

  • Mobo*Moga (Orange Lounge): A → AA

    Piece of cake. What took me so long to get the AA? I love dancing this song for its care-free French rhythms and accompaniment.

  • SP - Trip Machine (Jungle Mix) (De-Sire): AA → AA

    Finally you get to see a k3wl guy in action at the arcade. Heh! Well, DDR4 is all about Waka Laka, and DDR3, for me, is all about SP-Trip Machine. A nice, tricky, song that I play every time I load this particular DDR set. No improvements on my grade in this song, but that's fine, because there's nothing I'd wish to improve — it's purely perfect enjoyment.

  • Bath of Least Resistance (NOFX): A → AA

    Okay, so, you see those arrows fly for complete disregard for the fact that a human being must breathe every once in a while? How did I get the AA?

  • Hey Mama (Blackeye Peas): A → AA

    This song is deceptive. Its slow undulations make it look easy, until one realizes that, actually, it is easy. To ace this song, one need merely to hit the arrow with the correct timing. Of course, this particular song eschews quarter and eighth notes (it has, like, third notes and 17th notes, or something), but that is all there is to it.

    I suppose that, even though I don't like dancing this song particularly, I always will: the kids hop about the house for days after singing...
    Hey, Mama! Eu-pi-du-pi-doop, yama jama!
    La, lala, la la!
    ...something not to be missed.

  • Rock Lobster (B52s): A → AA

    Any DDR4 session that ends with me completing Rock Lobster is a good DDR4 session. A slightly frustrating one, however, because I know it's physically impossible to ace the song, so I knew my fate was to be consigned to the be the guy who could get the occasional A for the song. AA? Posh! Nevah!

    But, there it is: I danced every single arrow correctly, except for one toward the very end (skipping the second of two 32nd-note arrows in a set of 5 pairs). I winced in pain at that, knowing me it cost me perfection, but the game was feeling generous, I guess. Maybe I have this aura that scares away down-grading gremlins?

    I must say. The game's 2-minute version of the song is a vast improvement on everything else out there: the game reduced the song to pure essence. If I do regularly listen to a B52s song (and I do), then it's Shaque l'Amour which is perfectly balanced in fun, music and length.
So, at the end of the session I had burned 1031 KCal. Hm. Ouch, that hurt (my legs, 12 hours later, are still tender), but it's a good hurt.

1 comment:

Ren said...

Hello ... I know this is strange .. but I think that Aunt Rolene .. may just be a friend that I taught with in CA. My name is Sharon Labao, if Aunt Rolene is a middle school teacher who teaches at Sheppard Middle School, would you please send her my contact information. I am sorry that I am posting this here. i am not sure it will even get to her! Now, if this is not her .. I apologize for the intrusion!

Sharon Labao